If you recognize yourself in these lines, do not just read this article—buy the book, find a therapist, or join a support group. Stop loving too much and start loving yourself first. The rest will follow.

Patricia Faur is often asked: Why do you only talk about women? Don't men also love too much?

: Forgetting one's own needs to "fix" or "save" a partner.

But the good news, Faur insists, is that programming can be rewritten.

When being in love means constant pain, anxiety, or making excuses for a partner's indifference.

Unlike the cold, academic approach of traditional psychology, Faur developed a warm, direct, and deeply human style. She writes as she speaks: with clarity, zero judgment, and an almost maternal firmness. Her work bridges the gap between classical psychoanalysis (understanding the past) and cognitive-behavioral therapy (changing the present).

In the vast universe of self-help and psychological literature, few phrases have resonated as deeply as Las Mujeres Que Aman Demasiado ( Women Who Love Too Much ). Originally coined by American therapist Robin Norwood in 1985, the concept describes a destructive pattern where a woman becomes addicted to the drama, pain, and unavailability of a partner, mistaking suffering for passion.

Faur argues that most women who love too much have a conflictive bond with their father. If a girl grows up with a father who is absent, alcoholic, narcissistic, or violent, she learns two erroneous lessons:

One of the most controversial and liberating points in Faur’s work is her rejection of victimhood. While society tells these women, "All men are trash," Faur says, "Stop looking at him and look at your history."

Her answer is nuanced. She acknowledges that men also suffer from emotional dependency. However, she argues that culturally, women are socialized to be caretakers of male emotions. A man who is a "rescuer" might be called a "white knight," but a woman who is a rescuer is simply expected to be "the girlfriend."

When most thoughts and conversations revolve around the partner’s problems, actions, and feelings.